Christmas time

So Christmas has come and gone. Nothing's really changed. Am I disappointed, maybe a little. Each year gets a little worse, or so it seems. I don't know what the root of that cause is...and it's a little disconcerting. Wow, this is getting a little depressing.
Let me switch gears a little bit. (And I have to preface this with saying my mom left her camera at my sister's so no pictures yet.)
I'm still "sick". This has been going on two weeks now. I'm not really sick...our rooms are up in the attic at it's not meant for people to live up here...my room isn't really a room--I tell people I live in a cubicle. :) Anyway, there is a heater vent, but I don't think it really does much. We have one of those space heater things and it makes the air even drier than it already is. I've finally got my voice back though. Still lots of coughing... :(
Last week, I was talking with my boss and he was saying how he was taking off this week because he has vacation days to use and if we don't use them by the 31st, we lose them. Well that kinda stinks...and then he told me to use up mine. So I checked my paycheck and saw I had 3 days left, talked to HR and got approval. This week I have off as well. And I'm still taking Mikey to daycare, Elijah is with his dad so I get to get things accomplished--and sleep!!!!

OK, so you probably want to know how the actual day of Christmas went...it was fabulous!
Mikey woke up around 6, I had to wake Eli around 7:30 and he still didn't want to get up...I was shocked! Once I told him he could open presents though, he jumped up. :)
Elijah actually was looking for presents Christmas Eve when he came home from Josh's. He came in scouring the place up and down, behind everything, under and around things...he was a MADMAN!!! I realized I left something out from wrapping and asked him to go in the kitchen
for a minute and when I told him he could come out after hiding it, he said "Did you get my presents??" That was a fun remainder of the day.
Anyway, Christmas day...Elijah got some books--Dr. Seuss and more, bedtime songs CD, a pop-up play arena, $25 gift card from a mystery giver, some puzzles, a Diego sit-and-spin and a Bible. When he opened the Bible, he only had the top opened...he started singing, "I got a Bible, I got a Bible". I'm still trying to figure out how did he know it was a Bible???
Mikey got a push along walker, a piggy bank that teaches counting, a $25 gift card from a mystery giver, a baby basketball toy and a giant Elmo doll.
Elijah bought Mikey a singing nursery rhymes book and Mikey got Elijah a Stompin' Optimus Prime TransFormer. I think that was Eli's favorite...until we went to Aunt Rachel and Uncle John's. More on that in a bit.
I asked for nothing--I don't need anything, there's nothing I know of that I would want (I don't get to watch TV to know what's around), and I have no room for anything at this point...so why bother? There was a new Kodak camera I saw advertised and I wanted a keyboard since they got rid of the piano. My brother got me 2 books, my parents got me pj's, slippers, sock and undies (I felt like I was 8 years old again--only much more appreciative!), gloves and a Bible will be soon coming. :P
We went to my sister's house and Mikey got a playstation--not the system...an area. :) They also got him a Jungle Train or something like that...Little People brand. Elijah got a Diego Rescue Center. I got a keyboard!!! I was so excited! Then disappointed because when we got home, I realized it didn't come with batteries (wasn't expecting to) or a wall adapter. :'( So I had to wait until this morning to get some batteries! LOL We bought all types except the kind it took before Christmas.
All in all, it was a good Christmas. Until I realized it was a continuation this morning because I forgot about some gifts. I asked Eli if he wanted me to wrap them and he could open them or just give them to him...that was a stupid question! Into the other room I went to wrap, only for him to rip my work to shreds. It was two 2-packs of VeggieTales movies and a PlayDough set. He was so excited that it included scissors! (He just recently learned how to cut and got his very own pair of scissors.)
After I took Mikey to school, Eli played PlayDough and watched VeggieTales all morning until his dad came to take him again. He took him around lunch time and will bring him home tomorrow after dinner...so I will be running errands exchanging for sizes :P and resting! (I can't remember the last time I went to the store baby/kid-free. Yea!) Once I get home, I'm taking NyQuil and going to sleep!!!
On a side note I learned one of my dear friends is pregnant and I have no way to contact her. I NEED her to call me! :P
Well, I'm tired and should be getting some sleep. (My plans never come together the way I expect, so just in case I don't get to nap...)
OH! Speaking of naps...Christmas day, after the extravaganza of opening gifts, Mikey fell asleep. I told my mom that when I took Mikey up I wasn't coming back down, I was taking a nap. She said OK! I was shocked and didn't want to pass this up, so I went--I slept for 2 1/2 hours. :o I know...amazing! OK, I'm really going now.
I hope you all had a blessed Christmas and have a fabulous new year! (My resolution I really want to stick with is to keep in touch better with friends and family...I hope I don't slack off like usual with NYR's.)

Beck and Call

Okay, so I haven't really heard much from Michael lately...but when he does call, it's like he thinks I have to be at his beck and call. I'm sorry, don't get me wrong, but when did this become Michael's World? Like just because he doesn't have a life, I don't either. Like I don't have two kids to take care of by myself...I don't work...I'm not taking classes...
I was sick last week, then my mom got it, and I thought it bypassed the kids. This weekend I spent some quality time with Elijah making cookies. I was supposed to take my History exam Tuesday but was shown grace by my professor due to my illness. So now I have more time to procrastinate...I mean, study. I was hoping to do that yesterday, but got a call right when I walked in from work. It was the daycare saying Mikey was...well, to spare you the details...sick. I really didn't see anything out of the ordinary, and just thought it was teething and they were being cautious. Then he went down for nap at 3:30...and didn't wake up until about 5 am! Okay, maybe there was something there. So because of that mess, I was told he has to stay out for 24 hours. So I've been home all day, another day not being able to study.
I was planning on studying while he slept, but that has yet to happen...and it's already 2:30!!! He actually did sleep, but only for a half hour and I hadn't even cracked my book at that point. Oh the aggravation! Even as I type he's peeking over baskets with a stupid grin on his face...(If I knew where the cable was, I could upload the pic.)
So in the midst of all of this chaos, Michael called 5 times, not counting the cell phone. And there may have been more just without leaving a message because our phone is broke...just the machine. Every time it was "something important". He asked me why I was so hostile towards him lately and I told him that I feel like he thinks I should be at his beck and call...at one point, he asked if I could call him back in five minutes because he had to pee...I asked why and he kept saying, because I have to pee...okay, that's great, but if you don't have anything else to say to me, why do I have to call you back?
Then he tells me that the probation office is going to violate him because he hasn't paid his fine...the fine that he told me, just $80 and then it's paid off...so now I'm in the whole because I spotted him the extra to be done with--and avoid more service charges. You would think that since he paid off the one at the beginning of the month, they would give him grace period for the remainder.
Sigh!!! Anyway...'Tis the season, eh???
Back to the rugrat...as soon as I get the pic uploaded, I'll update the post.

Family Pics

So we got our pictures done last night--Here is a select few. Enjoy and Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas--early

Unearthed...

Goodness! It's been over a month since my last post! And it's not even that a lot has been going on either, that's the sad thing.

As promised, here are the Halloween pics. Eli was a Transformer and Mikey was a frog...not that you can really tell.
Michael had actually come over and gone with us. That was the beginning of it all. He didn't come around much after Halloween, but after a bit, he started coming over and calling more. Things have been on a positive note lately where he is concerned.
He also took Mikey for the day this past Saturday. I thought it would be a nice break, but who am I kidding...it's the holidays! I'm done my Christmas shopping for the boys. I know, I'm shocked too! They only got a few things each though. I'm not one that goes all out on Christmas--now you're birthday, that's a different story!
Anyway, I've also got the boys at the new daycare. The state funding has still not come through yet, but the center is working with me as far as payment goes. I was talking to the director about the things I was putting up with and what the kids were dealing with and she said we needed to get them out of there and she would do whatever she could to make that happen.
Today was their first day and I was able to peek in on Eli. I had to take Mikey for his doctor appointment today and when I went to get him, I stopped by the window to watch Eli...he was having a BLAST! Mikey seemed to enjoy his day also. When I went to get him, he was sitting in his chair just grinning. It feels good to be able to leave them with someone you can trust. It's nice being at work and not having to worry about your kids...
I know I have said it before, but I am really considering getting into writing. The two things I lack are time and direction. I have all these ideas I could use, but once I have the time to get them down on paper, they go in fifty different directions! It drives me insane! I'm also thinking about dropping the toy business. Again, because I lack the time. I just feel guilty because Debbie calls and emails and sounds all motivated and expectant and I have nothing to show for it but excuses.
Well, just wanted to catch up "briefly" before y'all thought I was dead or something. (Speaking of dead, my dad had the flu, which turned into pneumonia, which they believe got them to catch emphysema...sorry if I had you thinking he was dead--that was a bad lead-into. So now he has to go to the doctor next week for a follow up and to see if he does, in fact, have emphysema--which I'll probably have to take him to...guys NEVER grow up!) :)
*SMILE*

Halloween preview

So depending on how my day flows, I may be posting pics and details about yesterday. (Nothing too exciting, but it's always fun to hear about kids on "holidays".)
My lineup for today--work, W.I.C. appointment, school, home. I know that doesn't seem like a lot, but it's back to back to back...to back. :)
Stay happy!
~Rebekah
(11/1/07)


WE CAN'T FIND THE CAMERA!! 8( As soon as it gets found, there will be an update.
(11/6/07)

Come Play With Me

I don't know when I will get to the others, but this blog will be about my first demo. Now I have attended, against my will, other demonstrations--my mom was big on Tupperware(c) and such. Doing one, however, is a whole different ball game!
Oh my goodness. I don't know if it was so bad because it was all people that I knew--my mom did a "Grandmother's Party"--or if it was because it was my first show or because I was just that bad...but it was BAD!
I came out pretty well though, considering. Everyone ordered at least one thing, I'm waiting for more orders, and I got people that weren't even at the show to look at catalogs too.
My sister brought my two nieces, which I said she could if needed. I was fortunate enough that Mikey was sleeping and my dad kept his ear out that I didn't have to bring him along. But Elijah was unexpectedly home this weekend--more on that later. The whole reason I picked last Saturday as the date was because I knew he wouldn't be in my hair during the demo.
So Eli and my two nieces were there, playing along while I was talking about the toys--like it wasn't nerve-wracking enough, now I had to walk over 3 tots and dodge their interrupting. :)
At one point, Eli wanted to play with something--I forget what it was--and I couldn't follow what I was doing and trying to get him to listen and...let's just say we almost had a meltdown. *Sigh*
The girls both got their hair caught in one of the car toys. It was a "mechanic" car so as the wheels were turning and their long locks were on the track, they got a little entangled...AaAAAAaaaAHH! Someone save me!!
At the end it was very awkward because, well first of all...I figured people would come in, look at toys, ask questions about things that stuck out to them and I would wing it answering them. That didn't happen. They came in, looked through the catalogs, started talking and then I started.
I asked if anyone had any questions and the room was silent. Oh great! So I picked a few, talked about them and then there was more silence. I asked if anyone had any questions again and again, no one. So they looked through their catalogs making their selections.
I'm sooooo glad that is over. I don't think I ever want to do that again! And no one else booked a party, so I really have nothing. I may just pass the book around to people here and there and hope they bite. If not, I'm just going to have toys for the boys to play with and be satisfied with failure.

On another note, I just called up this place that a friend of mine takes her girls to. Right now I'm paying 240$ a week for my boys where they are...and that's a low price! Anyway, there are some issues there, I may delve into one day here, but for now, we'll just leave it at that.
This place, it's 365$ a week with a 10% discount because I have two. There's no way I can afford that! I'm waiting for the Child Care Assistance to come through and maybe once that comes through I can swing it...but who knows how long that will take! And I don't know how they'll go about that and if I can switch once I've already told them they go to a different place...and now go to one that's more expensive. I hate it! So anyway, I told the director I would swing by tomorrow to check it out, but I don't know if I want to. I don't want to go and find out it's fabulous and then not be able to take them there.
I already like it more--they have TV monitored rooms that you can view online; computer time; gym time; soon-to-be dance time; and that's only the beginning! I don't know what the rooms and teachers are like! And at least here they would get more individualized attention and age-appropriate settings.
Right now, it's at a lady's house and she has the one room for learning, Mikey is reportedly always up in his playpen--unattended, they watch movies I don't really approve of (or see the need for), she rather harsh on them at times, and then there's always the potty issue!
Anyway, something will happen soon, I'm sure. I don't want to start looking for a new job because this is a great job and all--but I really don't make enough to be supporting 2 kids, even living at my parents' house! It's insane this world we live in!

Okay, Breathe...

Can I breathe now? Sigh...so, let's see. I was so upset the other day--a week and a half or so--because I found out that my friend was not coming home for leave when she thought she would be. It was kinda crummy because she's Mikey's godmother and I wanted her to be a part of the Dedication.
I had heard from her mom that things didn't work out how we thought...I emailed her to tell her how sad I was to hear and she emailed me back and said she just found out the other day that the leave was a go...but not to tell her ma because she didn't want to stress her out more.
So we quick got the Dedication approved for the service. I felt bad because it was Laity Sunday and the pastor wasn't preaching or anything. He was cool with it though...at least he still got to enjoy a service where he didn't have to preach.
Before the service though, I got to see Jes the Thursday night before. She was going to come around 9:30-ish and we were going to go to a diner to catch up...she didn't get there until around 10:30-ish. It was all good though. My mom kept saying that I was going to be tired the next day, blah blah blah...but I figured it was worth the sacrifice of sleep to see a good friend that I probably wouldn't see for another year.
We were at the diner until about 2:00--AM! It was such good fun though! It made me kinda sad though because I knew it would probably be the only time I saw her--besides the Dedication--before she left again.
Oh, speaking of...Eastern's Homecoming was the Saturday before...that made me sad too. Not to go, but to leave. I saw sooo many people that I hadn't seen in about 10 years. Some I had talked to through email and such, others I had just recently found through Facebook or MySpace, others it had just been that long.
And not that I recollect the events, I now can understand why I was feeling so sad after Homecoming...so many people that I hadn't seen for so long, see one afternoon and then leave again; see my friend that I hadn't seen for a year and then see one night and not again for another year at least, and then be back to my own solitaire life. (All my friends are either in Pennsylvania or scattered about the States.)
Then on top of that, I was really feeling pressured about not doing anything like I was in college. When I went to college, I was involved with a group on campus--Y.A.C.H.T Club. It stands for youth against complacency and homelessness today. We would get together on Saturdays, give up our lunch, bag them and take them into the city and distribute to the homeless. That was our main "activity". I hadn't done anything like that since college--and that, like I said, was ten years ago. Man I feel old when I say that.
I actually emailed the guy that was in charge of the group--I ran into him at Homecoming too--and he emailed back some suggestions. He said that he and his wife ran into a similar situation when they had their first son--and now they have two. Kids can be a setback when it comes to that (not that that's a bad thing).
Okay, so the Dedication, to switch gears again, went well. It was a really nice service. I wish I could have told more people about it to join in the event, but with it being so quick--we didn't have it finalized until about Thursday afternoon. It was good to have Jes and he ma there though. And they were able to stick around for the coffee and treats afterwards too. I miss them so much!
Hopefully next time (it seems you get coming attractions anymore), I'll try to remember to tell about my weekend mishaps--involving men, my first demo, and my Catholic experience. (No disrespect meant for anyone that reads this and is Catholic.)
Take care all...

New Venture

So I'm going to start something new...I'm becoming an author. It's just in the works--of my head--but my mom has been my inspiration for titles...either book or chapter, not sure yet.
One is Vaguely, and the other is Would You Stop Dropping Your Hair In My Car?!
I will go into detail about them later, but keep your eyes out around 2025 in a bookstore near you. :)

Calm Before the Storm

So these past couple days I've been a little out of whack...long story that I'm not going into. Anyway, I finally started feeling normal and then--WHAM!--it goes again.
I was feeling good, despite the fact that I had to walk home...I'd much rather ride my bike. But, with two "flat" tires, that makes it a little difficult: doable, but difficult.
So I go over to the church to make my lunch--the microwave, freezer, etc is not in the Church house, where my office is--and it was drizzling. No biggie, right? Anyway, I come out to go back to my office with my lunch and it's raining harder. By the time I was finished working, not even a half hour later, it was RAINING!
(Sidenote, I almost had a heart attack--for whatever reason, all my text disappeared off my screen...thank you autosave!)
So I walk home looking like some hoodlum--hoodie sweatshirt with the hood up (and head down to avoid rain in the face), jeans, shoulder bag (for school)...yeah, it was great!
So I get home and got into my pjs until my clothes dried. I checked the phone for whatever reason, no one ever calls me--sometimes on my cell, but whatever--and I saw that Josh had called (Eli's dad). He never calls, so I went to check the answering machine. I thought maybe he finally got some courtesy and called to say he would be late--this is his weekend with Eli, he gets every other because of his work schedule. Oh no, he didn't--but he was nice enough to tell me, last minute, that he's sorry to call so late, but he can't make it to get Elijah this weekend. So now that he's bugged me all week and even told me that he loves going to his daddy's house, I get to tell him that Daddy's not coming. Joy of joys!
So now, I have to figure something out for this demo I'm doing; I have to either find someone to watch him, or bring him--that just screams disaster! I would love to just call him up and bitch him out--sorry--about how irresponsible he is, and how he has to explain to Elijah why he can't make it. Don't put that on my plate! See what he has that's so important that he can't spend time with his son, when he told me earlier that Eli can't come home for Church on Sunday because that's his time with him...
I really need to get in touch with a lawyer. By law, he's actually supposed to be getting him two and a half days during each week, not two and a half days every other weekend. So really, he should be going back to the mediator and figure out some visitation schedule he wants to stick to...because this is just getting ridiculous!
Okay, I have to remember to breathe now. Hopefully I'll be able to catch a few minutes this weekend and update on the things from the last post I promised and also, now, an update on my weekend.
Have I said before how much I can't stand men!!!

Ridiculous Migraine

This is basically just an "I'm still alive" post. I didn't even realize that it had been so long since the last post--and that was just pics! LOL
Anyway, yes I am still alive. I have to get some more pics uploaded.
Speaking of pics...no kids this time, sorry. :( If someone else was home with me, I would have had them take a pic so you could get the full feeling of what I'm about to tell you. It's so sad...I gave myself a migraine playing with dolls. Yes, you read correctly, no one was home and I was playing with dolls.
Okay, here's the background. I've become a Discovery Toys rep. Visit their homepage. I'm not linked to the page, so if you do, surprisingly, want to purchase something, let me know directly so I can get credit for that.
So here it is...the aforementioned dolls...

Let me explain. I'm having a demonstration this weekend. It's my grand opening, so to say. I got signed under another woman from the street fair our town had. She's been really awesome! She's loaning me her toys as well for the demo. Elijah and I were playing with them this morning and I went to put them away this afternoon--it was a really bad morning! Anyway, she still had the plastic containers they came in...I was trying to get them to fit properly. Through doing this, I thought some were missing. So I literally spent about a half hour dis/re/assembling these STUPID pieces! (Yes Eli, I know I shouldn't say stupid.) :)
Their hair comes in two pieces-front and back; their body is a piece, their legs are a piece, their skirts are a piece, their handbags are a piece...their HEADS are a piece! It's just madness!
All in all though, it's really cute. We had fun playing with them, it was just putting them back in their packaging that was crazy, though they come with a plastic carry case. I was just putting them back since they are not mine to make that decision.
Okay, so now my migraine has gone away...yay!
Next time I post, I will highlight Eastern's Homecoming and Jes' visit/Mikey's dedication.
Much love! = >

Farm Pics

You get a pic of my in there because that's the only good pic that's ever been taken of me. LOL
I have no idea why this is underlined either...that kinda sucks! Anyway, pics from the Pumpkin Farm--yes the boys have matching jackets. I'll have more to post of the boys together later. They were taken last night and this morning. Anyway, that first one is of Elijah and one of his best friends. LOL.
*SMILE*

Tastefully Simple

I know, I know...it's been FOREVER since I last posted. Shame on me. So much has happened I don't know where to start--honestly, I don't even know what the last thing I posted was.
Tonight I went to a Tastefully Simple party...it should be called Sinfully Tasty--or something to that effect. Anyway, OMG, it was delicious! It was a nice night out too. It was martini night theme. I had 2 martinis, one blueberry and one banana. Can I tell you that I can't even tell you the last time I had a drink--with being pregnant and all, and now back at my parents' house--they can be quite the sticklers. It was even awkward for me to drink in front of my mom at the party.
Anyway, I also signed up to be a Discovery Toys representative. If anyone--like anyone besides Vickie reads this LOL--is interested in a party, let me know. I'm actually having my first one in two Saturdays and I learned today that you can have online parties. Ooh!
I went to the farm today with the boys on their class trip. Apple picking, pumpkin picking and hayride. It was so much fun! Mikey, obviously, is too young to enjoy anything, but Eli had a blast! It took him at least 15 minutes to pick just the right pumpkin. A friend from church--who went with her daughter, same daycare/school--took pics though and said she'd email them to me! YAY!
Anyway, it's getting late and I should be going. Hopefully I'll be a little more regular with posting. I've just been so bogged down with work and school that by the time I get some time to myself I don't have the energy to run the mouse, let alone type.
I will definitely have to update because I didn't realize, now that I think about it, that it's been close to the beginning of school since my last post.
Oh yeah, Michael, for whatever reason, is in the hospital...again! (He's been in the hospital more times than I have in my whole life--and I've only known him for about 2 1/2 years now. Always something new.) I'll update more about that too. MAybe I'm being too cynical, apathetic, fill in the _______________.

SORRY!
*SMILE*

AGGRAVATION!!!

So the other week, my mom told Elijah that church wasn't a choice while I was in the bathroom getting ready--apparently there was some complication getting ready and he said he wasn't going. I told him if he didn't behave and couldn't get ready on time, he would have to stay home with Granddad and Uncle Jason. He protested and my mom and I got into an argument about letting church be a choice.
Now the tables have turned. He's asking to go to church even when it's not time and wants his dad to bring him home early on his weekends so he can attend church. I talked to my mom about this and she said that that's his right. I swear sometimes I think my mom is bipolar--mental illness runs in my family.
Anyway, I don't understand her at all! On one hand she says one thing...on the other she totally contradicts herself! What's the deal?!?!
I've been asking her for a couple of weeks to talk to her boss--she's a secretary for a family court lawyer--and now this week he's on vacation. Well I think I'm going in the phone book tomorrow and finding a family court lawyer or legal aid or something and get their opinion on the matter! In today's world of religious tolerance, there's got to be SOMETHING allowing me to choose to have my son attend service with me.
Before we split, both of us sat down and talked about things--the way we would raise him, what he would be allowed to watch on tv, etc. Now everything has changed now that he doesn't believe in God anymore. He's playing swords with him--we agreed no weapons as toys, he doesn't want him to attend church--he was very into church before he even moved out here, and that's just the beginning. I mean, whatever! I don't tell you not to teach him Japanese do I? (Who teaches their kid Japanese--especially when they're as American as they come! He has no ancestry in Japan...)
And technically he doesn't get him on the weekends anyway, so I could tell him that I want to switch back to that schedule. The only problem there is that now I have Elijah doing the preschool program at daycare and he would miss out on that. I figure if we go to modify from the weekday schedule back to the weekend schedule, it may be able to be modified to include Elijah at home for Sunday worship.
Have I mentioned yet that I really can't stand MEN!!! I don't understand the male race--and yes, I did say race. I don't believe they're human at all!

Mental Health Night

After the way things have been going lately, I needed to take a mental health day...and since it's crucial for me to be at work this week, I decided to skip class. We are allowed 2 "free pass" misses, so now I have one left. And I feel so much better!
And believe me, after the past couple of days I have had, I don't know if I would have lasted much longer. My dad and brother have really been working my nerves. Plus, dealing with two kids as a single mom isn't the easiest of jobs. On top of that I have Michael bothering me. Now add to that equation, his daughter! She called me late last night asking why I haven't called her back. First of all, I have no ties to you and we didn't get that close when Michael and I were together.
So I didn't get much sleep Sunday because Eli was up until 12/12:30. He started at bedtime complaining that his ear hurt, and it looked fine to me--wasn't pink or anything--and I chalked it up to attention-seeking. The next morning, it was a little better he said, but I figured since I brought it up, he remembered.
I ended up having to take him to the doctor's because now he has a lot of gunky stuff in his ear. She wasn't sure if it was just draining something or an ear infection. So now, my medicine hater, has to take amoxocillin, ear drops (they're just lovely) and Tylenol for pain. And we haven't gotten to bath time yet, but he has to wear ear plugs to keep the water from getting in.
So today I slept in a little and that was a bad move! Because I had to get the kids ready in a rush...and give Eli his medicine, I didn't get breakfast and my coffee--which I needed desperately--sat on the table as we left. :( There is a woman at work that has been a bug up my--fill in the blank--lately and I just knew she was going to call. She did...and stopped by. WHY ME, LORD??? Oh, did I just say that out loud? (Use your imagination, people!)
After she stopped by, guess who else stopped by. Why should the fun stop there? MICHAEL WHY??? Lord, really, why do You torture me so? He stopped by to see what was going on between me and Kisha (his daughter). Who cares?! It's no concern of yours...I have no time to schedule playdates when I have 2 jobs, 2 kids, 2 classes, 2 exes to deal with--do we see a theme here? Creepy, huh? :)
So I've come to the decision to drop something. Kids aren't an option, the classes aren't either--financial aid is paying and I can't afford to pay it back, and the exes come with the kids...so the job I do a few hours a week is being dropped. I've been thinking that for a while, and before I talk to them I'm going to wait until the week is out and pray about it.
Like I said, I took some time out for me today and things went so much better for me. I can actually breathe easy.
Well, I have some CDs to make for a friend. Take care everyone! (Like anyone really reads this thing! Thanks Vickie!!!)
*SMILE*

Pure Exhaustion

I didn't know one could be exhausted in so many ways until tonight. I went out to dinner with my mom, our neighbor across the street and the boys. Now, work today wasn't that bad. I got everything done at both jobs with time to spare--at both! :) That's a first...anyway, I come home and the men--and I use the term loosely--in my house were complete boneheads. (That's putting it nicely.)
Okay, so the diner...Elijah would not sit still for anything! I never took so many deep breaths at one dinner. Elijah is really going through this phase where he has to try every possible way to test the limits...it's not one of the funner stages. (I'm so exhausted I can't sleep...if that's even possible.)
I didn't know whether to laugh or cry at the things he was doing. My mom and Joan told me that he was fine and to stop nit-picking, but I don't know...it seemed a little nerve-wracking to me. At one point he dropped a bread dish and the whole section of the diner looked over. I didn't know what else to do so I chuckled as I waved and said hello. I would love to just go to sleep and not wake up until 7 o'clock Monday morning.
And Michael has been calling this week! I knew he would be though because it's been about two weeks. He called 3 times one night and 2 times one afternoon--right after each other. I mean if he called once a day or every couple days, it probably wouldn't be as bad. But gimme a break! 3 times in less than five minutes is borderline harassment! If you leave a message saying to call back, when I get a minute I think I will. I told him that when I called him back. He didn't say anything about money or coming to see Mikey this time. He asked about the kids and then went on about him and his life--like that's a concern of mine right now.
Here's what I found out...so he says anyway:
Social Security stopped issuing him checks because he worked at one point and didn't report that to them. He called them when he didn't get his check on the first and they explained that they sent a letter explaining this...he never opened it! They are re-opening his case though and he should get paid next month--not that he told me he would give me money for the baby or anything though. He has food left over from last month--which if he didn't buy so much could have given me money for diapers, clothes, daycare, food...fill-in-the-blank. He goes on to tell me that things are hard for him. Wait...did I just hear correctly??? You have a place of your own, you have money to spend on yourself when you want, you don't have to raise kids on your own, you're not working 2 jobs--let alone at all, you're not taking classes, you have time to yourself, you don't get woken up in the middle of the night and have to get up and tend to a baby, need I go on???
I'm so spent when it comes to him. My aunt called the house phone while I was talking to him and he thought it was my cell phone. I told him it was the house phone and he figured I was on my cell and told me he still didn't have that number. To which I replied, "Good." He asked why and I told him because I didn't need him calling THAT phone off the hook like the house phone! He said he wouldn't--that was when I was telling him about his call habits to the house.
I'm just really ready for a vacation. I so can't wait until Mikey starts to sleep through the night. My sanity can't wait! LOL
Well, I should probably try and get some sleep now. Hopefully I'll have the time and energy to make CDs tomorrow. I have a friend that asked me to make him some Christian mix CDs. I love doing that kind of stuff--where would I be without music?--and haven't gotten a chance to do so yet. I should really get on that! LOL (He was amazed at my collection and how you could copy music and all--I have everything from rap-rock-pop-worship-punk-you name it, I probably have it...except country...sorry!) :)

Amazing Freedom

So I don't even know how long it's been since the last blog...but I know it's been a while! The room is now completely done! (Well, it does need cable, but I'm surviving...I've never been one for much tv anyway.), but only had one

These aren't the final pictures, it has carpet and minimal furniture. Speaking of carpet...
My dad and I were bringing up the carpet for the room. We had a fan leaning against the chimney to air out the primer--it was bad! My dad was in front and knocked it over. I went to pick it up, but only had one hand...I used my knee to push the bottom out. Here's the fan...

The fan was still on when I did this...there's no back to the fan...here's the bruise--

Anyway, I've also started taking classes. Tuesdays I go to History and Thursday is Math. Things are a little rough, but they're also just starting. It's also been a while since I've last taken classes, so...
This past weekend was the Women of Faith conference in Philadelphia. It was sooooo awesome! I had gone 2 years ago and opted out last year. I'm so glad I didn't! I laughed, I cried...I learned so much! Hopefully it's a new start. I've been trying to be more patient with Mikey--Elijah has been at his dad's this weekend. So far it's not too bad. I've also been taking care of my mom. She came with us to the conference--she's actually the leader--and got sick.
I'm going to try and keep up with this more frequently than I have been lately. Oh! How could I forget. As I was about to feed Mikey tonight, I was holding him and he put my finger in his mouth...I thought that I was just imagining things again--like I have been this past two months--but I wasn't. HE CUT HIS FIRST TOOTH!!! I'm hoping that once it comes through all the way, he'll sleep a little better. That would help out a lot, because I've been having some trouble managing things...between kids, work and school! Something has to give and I'm afraid I can't sacrifice any more sleep than I already am. LOL
Okay, so I think I'm going to go now...take care!
*SMILE*

School's In

So today was my first day back at school. The last time I stepped foot in a classroom was in 1999! Boy were my nerves eating at me. I came home from work and I just laid in bed. I was all shaky, I felt nauseous and I was extremely anxious! I almost thought it was my depression returning. I was watching tv, folded some laundry and everything was just intensifying. Then I developed a migraine. I was not looking forward to going to class. If it weren't for having to repay financial aid, I would have dropped the class.
Now I'm home and feel much better! It was History, 2 1/2 hours. I hate History! I had to take the same History class three times to finally get a "C". And that was because the professor gave me a break!
I have a quiz at the beginning of each class, three essay tests--and the baby is now up so this will have to continue another time.
*SMILE*

Weekend Outing & Missing Wallet

So over the weekend, we were finishing work on my room. The guys were working and we were out buying supplies. Apparently I stayed logged on to my Yahoo! Messenger because my aunt called me and asked why I wasn't answering her IMs. I told her we were out buying things for the guys--and they had a really great deal on clothes and the boys are growing so fast I jumped on the opportunity to get the most for my dollar! :)
Anyway, she asked me to warn my dad that a favor was coming through. When we got home I told him and it turned out she needed him to pick up a freezer she just won an auction for near us. (She lives in Delaware.) The we had to figure out how to get it down there too! I told him, I would do it since he's been working on my room and was tired and all. We both went to pick it up, but I took the boys with me to "deliver" it to her.
Not even a half hour out and Eli tells me he has to use the potty. I asked if he could wait because we weren't by a rest stop or anything and Mikey was sleeping. I would have let him pee on the side of the highway, but he's not big enough to go by himself and I didn't want to disturb the baby.
He made it through the trip--an hour and a half total--and when we got there, I just sat down to feed Mikey a bottle and he tells again me he has to go. My aunt asked if he wanted her to take him and he said no. Can you say "mamma's boy"?? My cousin, Mike, asked if he wanted to pee outside. They live in a more rural area. He thought that would be so cool and we went out. He wouldn't go with Mike either, so when Mikey took a break from eating--I know, amazing but it does happen!--we went around to the side of the house.
To my surprise, there were cows in her backyard. COWS! Not something you see in my parts. Her neighbor has two pastures...one in their backyard and one behind my aunt's. They were grazing in the neighbor's pasture, but one was extremely close and startle me. (They are fenced in.) The second potty trip we made out there, we went closer to see them (They were in my aunt's back this time). They all started moo-ing at us, so I assume we were bothering them.
Elijah had SO much fun there! My aunt has about 6 grandkids, so they have a lot of toys at her house. A little while after we got there, two of his cousins (my cousin's kids) came over. They were so cute together! He doesn't get much opportunity, aside from school, to play with other kids. I feel sad for him at times because of that.
On the way home, both of them slept just about the whole way home...it was so nice! LOL
Okay, so now fast forward a few days. My classes start next Tuesday and I still don't have my books. I called Financial Aid and was on hold for about 15 minutes before I tried another line...they picked right up!
Anyway, I talked to them about getting a book voucher and they told me I needed to schedule an appointment but I was just going to go in, get it and leave. Why do I need an appointment for that?! So I made an appointment, went in and got the voucher...well, I would have had I brought my wallet with me. So I called my "driver's" cell phone and told him I needed my wallet. He drove back to the front and I picked it up.
I went back up and there was this "slow" girl there asking the same question over and over, really irritating the receptionist. I think she was just going to ask her question until she got the answer she wanted to hear. After about 5-10 minutes of waiting, she asked for my ID, I showed her and finally got the voucher.
As I was walking down to the bookstore (it's in the same building, but you have to go outside and then back in another door to get in) I put the card in my wallet. (The voucher was in credit card form.) I went through the store, picked up my books, a notebook, a calendar, pens and a backpack. I then headed toward the checkout line.
I waited for about 10-15 minutes in line and when it was my turn I put my stuff up. But there was no wallet to be found! I panicked, though still held my composure. I looked all over, backtracking about 5 times, asking employees in the area if they had seen it thinking maybe when I picked up a book I set my wallet down or something. I mean, you would think something like a wallet would be heard if it fell to the ground.
They checked my order to see if maybe it got shoved in something or between something. No luck, and I was back looking again. I even got on my hands and knees looking under displays. I'm sure that looked cute!
So I gave them my information in case it was found. I went back to the financial aid building where security is and told them. I didn't know I had to fill out an incident report or I would have told my ride it would be a minute when I told him I was ready to be picked up. He was waiting while we filled it out and they guy asked me everything that was in my wallet. (I don't keep track of what I keep in my wallet and it took forever!) Luckily I don't carry cash, just my ATM card.
I got back in the van and we were off. Not even five minutes later, I got a call on my cell. It was the bookstore...someone found my wallet! Yea!
I went back to get it, and they told me that it was in the candy display (which is right under the counter). I didn't even THINK to look there. Everything was still there! Lucky for me someone was honest enough to return it and not take anything out of it.
So I purchased everything and went home.
Later that day, I took my wallet with me to pick up the kids--need my license to drive. I came home and went through the rest of my day. My mom and I went to CVS that night to pick up a few things. My dad offered his truck since my mom's car is on its last leg. :( So I needed my wallet again. (My mom won't drive his truck.) I couldn't find it anywhere...again!
So I went through the house trying to think of what I did when I came home. I thought maybe I left it in the truck, but it wasn't there. Then I remembered I put it in Mikey's car seat as I brought him inside--I didn't have enough hands to carry everything! I looked in his seat, not there. I looked on the TV, not there. I looked everywhere! My parents were suggesting places, and my dad said to look under the paper on Eli's table. I told him I did already and it wasn't there, just my camera. I looked anyway, to humor him. Boy, did I feel stupid. There it was! LOL When we came home my mom said, 'Hey Rebekah, it's 10 o'clock...do you know where your wallet is?' I forgot where I put it after paying at the store--I got Mikey stage 2 foods. Oh crap, where is it?! My mom panicked and said she was just joking about it. I looked in one of the bags and there is was.
So when I came home from the store, I put it right in my bag so I would know where it was!
My mom keeps telling me to carry a purse so I don't lose or forget things, but I don't have enough stuff to put in a purse and I feel silly carrying a big empty bag. Besides, that would be just one more thing for me to carry...I already have a huge diaper bag, two kids, bottles, sippy cups, toys, etc. Do I really need a purse to add to that mix??? I think not!
Anyway, there are my crazy update stories!
I hope you enjoyed my misfortunes! (I know I did!) :P
Also, another update--my cousin is coming home this weekend from rehab...hopefully everything goes well with the transition back!
*SMILE*
Rebekah
Sorry for the long post and congrats to those who made it through! :D Gold star for you!!!

Pictues...YEA!!! (finally)

Well, I messed up and can't move the pics around anymore. Anyway...here's a brief description of each--left to right, top to bottom

1. Eli with his cousins...Samantha and Abigail
2. Mikey in awe of Granddad
3. Bath time for Eli & Mikey
4. Eli doing what he loves most--building with Granddad
5. Eli enjoying himself at the ballgame! (His first Phillies game with Grammy while Mommy got to relax at home!)
6. Mikey doing what he loves most--eating! LOL
   

We are closing in the porch and that's where the one picture is taken--the one of Eli and Granddad. The picture with the cousins was for Aunt Sharon's birthday. When she got home from her mission trip, we finally got to celebrate. :) They have so much fun together, which is a rarity. Which is a shame because they only live right across town--town is about a square mile.

Anyway, new pics, yea!

Still alive...

It's been quite a while. I don't even know how a week got away from me--well, yes I do...I have two kids! :)
Just an update: I registered for classes for the fall semester at the county college. So, now I'll be working 9-2, some days 9-4 and then going to class some days from 5:20-7:50. Then on Saturdays I will go from 12-2:50. History, English and Math.
I'm a little apprehensive, but excited at the same time! I can't recall if I posted about this before, but I applied for child care assistance and got a reply. Though they see that I qualify and need assistance, they also don't have enough funding at this time. What's the deal with that?! I mean, if you don't have the funding, don't have open enrollment! So now I'm on the waiting list and when that clears up, I will have to go through the whole process again to prove eligibility. But whatever...so now things will just be really tight, budget-wise.
That's not a good thing either, because I have to go and get new clothes for the boys--they're growing like weeds!--and I also have to get some fall/winter clothes for me because I got fat (pregnancy) and it's not going away. And besides, all my fall/winter clothes were real tattered anyway. And I hate shopping for myself too, so it's not going to be fun! I'm sure I'll be bringing home more clothes for the boys that I will for me.
Let's see, what else is new? Not too much really. Mikey, although still not sleeping through the night, had two good nights this week were he did. Yea! Let's keep that up and get some kind of schedule going! I'm hoping that once next week starts and they go to school 5 days a week, things will get better. Since I'll be working 9-4 more often than now--to cover for daycare costs--That might help also. That will give him a chance to take an afternoon nap and then not want to go to bed at 5!
And still no teeth yet either! Elijah is just about totally potty-trained! He's been going just about all of the last half of summer through the night without accidents! The other night was the first one, but that was because he had some kind of bug--diagnosed by me of course. (Or like that one commercial says, "Dr. Mom".) :P
The pastor is on vacation at my second job--2-4--and I haven't been very motivated to go in. I work on an as-needed/available basis, but go in at least 2 days a week so that the bulletin gets done. I did some work at home for the Newsletter though, so at least I'm getting stuff done! I have to go in today and tomorrow to get the two days in. It would have been perfect to go these past couple days with the weather as cool as it was. The rain was not a good motivator though. :( Don't get me wrong, I love the rain, but not when I have to go a mile each way and don't have a car. LOL
So, of course with my luck, now the weather is breaking and it's supposed to be getting hot again! I can't wait until autumn comes! It's much prettier then anyway.
Okay, so now I'm rambling and that means time for me to go! ;)
Gee, I need to get some new pics up, don't I?
*SMILE*

In a slump

So lately I've been in a slump...I haven't been feeling 100%.
Today was just the icing on the cake. At it's only half over! I woke up around 4 with Mikey. I fed him and he started acting up again. He does this new thing where he'll drink about an ounce or two and then be very squirmy! I'll burp him and that will wake him up even more. This goes on for 8-10 ounces! So that takes about an hour. It's bad enough he's still waking up for a feeding, but now he's like up up. I put him down at around 5 and fell asleep. At 5:30 he started stirring again. I was not going to be getting up again. I went to get his music box--that was across the house on the porch--and on my way back, my dad said something to me. Technically, I wasn't awake, kinda like the walking dead at this point. He got mad that I didn't reply, but that early in the morning I don't care about much. Then I woke up at 7:30...tried to wake up Elijah but he wasn't hearing any of that. I probably should have just taken the day off. :( That would have been the smart thing to do.
Anyway, I finally got motivated to shower only to find that all of my stuff was missing. (I just got home from house-sitting yesterday and Sharon had all of her stuff all over, so my stuff just got plopped down in an empty spot.) So I showered anyway. When I came out, Sharon was waking up. I got Elijah up and was about to bathe him only to find that his stuff was missing too. Apparently when Sharon was cleaning up to pack, she misplaced it, and didn't really seem to care that it went missing. So my mom told me to use the Dove soap and I had to use my shampoo. Let me just tell you that Johnson's claim that they're tear-free...it's true! He got soap in his eyes while he was washing himself and then when I washed the shampoo out, he got shampoo in his eyes. So I've got this wriggly, screaming child in a tub, longing to get out and have his eyes stop burning...all before 8:30!
Then I got Mikey's breakfast together and got him up. I was trying to feed him but everything was distracting him...the tv, his brother, his grammy...it was a mess! So I'm already aggravated from my morning and now I get to struggle with a toddler to get dressed--he was still naked in the living room wearing his towel--and a baby to eat. I finally got everyone together and then it was finally my turn to get ready.
No wait, that's not true. I still had to get the kids' things together for school. I quick packed their bag and was about to get ready when my mom was telling me she had to leave. She was going to take Elijah, but he wanted to still hold Mikey. So I told him we'd ride in the stroller to school. He was game for that. Okay, everyone was settled and getting along...
I went out to get the stroller ready only to find that it was packed way up high in a pile of boxes on the porch. Scratch that idea. Luckily for me, Elijah was okay with walking. I was going to carry the baby, but found the baby stroller leaning on the railing. Also luckily for me, school isn't too far away.
I finally got them off to school and me to work only to find the organ tuner was waiting patiently for me to unlock the church. OOPS! Totally forgot about that scheduled visit. :)
Sigh...so here I am at 12:50 and not feeling any better about my day.
Michael called me (apparently a few times while I was house-sitting) only to tell me he was in the hospital. Okay, and you're telling me, why?? Nice that he can call me to get sympathy, but not to see how his son is doing. He told me that he's going to have a side job soon and then he'll bring me some money for Mikey. I'll believe that when I see it. He was also supposed to give me money when he got his check on the first too, but didn't. I'm not even looking forward to it. And I can't get a child support order because he gets social security. My case worker said it wouldn't even be worth going through the process because they'll just deny it. It doesn't make sense to him either, but whatever. That's just the way things go I guess.
Really though, when you think about it, I'm better off without. That way I don't have to keep bothering him to give me money, keep getting my hopes up that he'll help out...if he gives me money, he does--if he doesn't, he doesn't. I won't be holding my breath though.
Anyway, on a more positive note, I've been reconnecting with a bunch of 'old' friends lately. It's been fun to see what everyone has been up to and where they are in their lives. It's also a little depressing because everyone is happy with where their life it and I'm still here trying to figure out where 'here' is.
I was approved for assistance with child care through the state only to find that their funding is low right now so I'll be on a waiting list. I was really stressing about things, but it actually looks like things are going to work out okay for the time being. Things will just be a little more tight as usual...and I didn't even think that was possible. That's the state for ya!
All right, I guess I'm done rambling for the moment!

*SMILE*

Randomalites ???

So I'm house-sitting for some friends again. It's been pretty good so far I guess. The dog is really starting to get to me though...she's always got to be right up under you.
Elijah comes home tomorrow so I'm excited about that. I have to figure out what to do with the boys Tuesday and Thursday though. My sister is working, the people who watch him those days are both on vacation...sigh! It sucks.
Anyway, I thought I'd write since it's been a while. Not much has gone on though. I did see the baby roll though...that was awesome! I haven't heard from Michael at all this week either...that was really good. I guess he's just not going to bother with Mikey at all...which is kinda sad. I haven't heard anything about him trying to help out financially, figuring out how to see him without having him in Camden...good riddance I say. And now I have to figure out what I'm going to do about the electric bill. It was in my name and he didn't pay it the last month he was there, so now it looks like I'm stuck with it.
I got a letter from my cousin yesterday...he's doing really well in rehab--says it's hard though, no doubt! He sounds good though. He seems to finally have gotten his head on straight.
Well, I'm off to write back to him before I turn in...it's getting late and Mikey's already sleeping. I'll write about my exciting--yeah right--modern slide show presentation in a later blog.
Keep Smiling!

Feelin' blah

I don't know if it's the heat or what, but I'm just feeling blah. It's slightly warm out, but the humidity is just dreadful!
In big news though...kinda disappointed about it...the baby rolled over! I went to pick him up from daycare and she asked if he's rolling now. I said no and she told me that she went up to get him and he was on his back--she put him down on his belly. YEA! I wish I could have seen it though. He didn't sleep much today, but he went down for bed very easily, so that was nice.
I talked to Elijah the other day...he sounded so grown! I asked to talk to his dad and he says, 'DAD! (pause) Where are you? (pause) My mommy says can she talk to my daddy!' Then Josh got on the phone. What's that all about?! He's having fun though. At least it sounds like it.
Well, surprisingly it's a short blog. :) On a very happy note, I haven't heard from Michael for a while. Granted I called him yesterday and he hung up on me, but that's okay. If he wants to be immature like that, that's okay. I'm just glad he's gotten over being a harassment. :)
*SMILE*

The dust has settled...

If I had written a new blog the other day you would have gotten quite a piece of my mind. But, the dust has settled and so has my mood. Though, nonetheless still frustrated. I was supposed to be house-sitting again this week, but it seems I'll only be house-sitting for part of the week. They believe they are leaving Wednesday. That's okay though, soon--I hope--the rooms will be complete and we can paint and move stuff in and live there.
And I think I may have to switch "sitters" for the boys. It's kinda sad because Elijah has gone to her for about 2 years now. And now he'll be starting the pre-K lessons in September. It'll be cheaper though. I don't think the state is going to come through with the voucher for child-care assistance and I wouldn't be able to afford it otherwise.
I called Michael today to see what happened with him dropping off money. He told me he didn't have any and I explained how I was almost out of diapers and he said he would see what he could do. I asked why he didn't just call and explain that, and he said that I hung up on him the other day. I explained to him that he wasn't letting me talk and kept talking over me and he hung up on me. So I guess what he told me the other day about sacrificing some of his things to take care of the baby is not holding up. Okay, you needed food. Did you really have to buy your month's worth of food when you knew I needed diapers and was broke myself. (I wouldn't be broke if I didn't have to pay the state so much for those stupid tickets...or if I didn't have to pay all that for the baby to have clothes that fit!) He's still planning on going to the side job he was working, so why couldn't he have sacrificed a little and made sure the baby had diapers--they're only $20! I knew this was going to happen...but that's okay, I don't need his help. Hopefully the diapers will last until the weekend and then I can get them myself once money comes through.
I'm just a little disappointed about this whole daycare thing though. I mean, the lady they go to has really started to rub me the wrong way, but now Elijah won't be "learning" anything. I could enroll him into preschool, but I don't have a guaranteed way to get him there and back. Preschool hours are during my work hours. I don't have a car, but I was told if I needed to I could definitely go get him! There's also the option of trying to get setup with another mom or dad with carpooling or whatever. Maybe spend some time at their house until I get done work or dropping him at the office and just walk home with me when my day is done.
Oh well, things could be worse, eh?
*SMILE*

The silver lining???

First I would like to thank Vickie for her comment on the "...Dogs..." post. :) I enjoy reading my comments! Just an update, the dog and I made up. :D Also I was able to get my license issue cleared up--for a later blog! :) All I have to say is that God is awesome...again I will explain in a later blog.
Anyway, Michael called yesterday. I tried to call him the day before because his check was going to be mailed and he told me it was going to the old apartment. I went and checked on it and it wasn't there. I was trying to let him know so he could figure out where it was. I might not like the guy, but he does have bills to pay.
He informed me however that he got it at the post office...I guess he put a hold on his mail or something. Anyway, he goes on to say that he's going through some serious therapy and doesn't drink anymore. (I don't believe that though--he always goes through these bouts where he's not drinking anymore.) Although he did say that he's trying to turn his life around, blah blah blah. I asked him why now. Why not when we were together and if he thought that would have helped our relationship at all? He said that he's had time to think about things and that after he gets his life settled and is successful at that maybe we'll have a chance. I asked him a chance at what and he said of being together again. Without hesitation I said no. Why would I want to put myself through that kind of hell again?! And things are always different when you're not living together anymore.
I went to bed last night and all I could think about was the possibility of getting back together. I was coming up with example after example of how he would have to prove himself to me. I came up with staying sober for at least 3 years, getting a job, us going to counseling at least once a month, dating for a VERY long time before even thinking about getting serious.
And then I had another thought. I don't want to be back with him, so why am I letting it consume so much of my time, energy and thought space? And that worried me. Although, I still have thoughts like that about Josh. I know I would never get back with him...but still, the thought is there. "What if...?"
Anyway, enough ramblings on men.
*SMILE*

Why I Hate Dogs, by Rebekah

So I'm house-sitting for two weeks for some friends. I didn't realize what I was getting into at the time I agreed. I don't think "House-sitting them means also dog-sitting". If you haven't figured it out yet, they also have a dog. Things went fine the first couple days--except she peed on the carpet twice! Today on the other hand...she's supposed to be put in the kitchen while no one is home. I tried to get her in so I could finish getting ready and just leave. She was hiding under the dining room table and I couldn't coax her out. So I moved the chair out and put my hand under, I don't know what for...she didn't need to smell me to know who I was. Anyway, still no luck--I went to grab her collar and she growled and snapped at me. Where the heck did this come from?! I waited a little and tried again to no avail. I even threw a ball into the kitchen thinking she would fetch in...nuh-uh. So finally, I got her leash pretending I was going to walk her...mean, yes--but successful! Let's see her try that again...she'll stay in the kitchen permanently--except for her walks and outside time. I'm not going to chance her biting the baby.

One Big Mess

I don't know what's wrong with me. It's probably all of the stresses from the summer finally coming to the surface. I found myself so upset yesterday...I started crying. And I was sitting here at work and tears started coming. I don't know what's causing it either.
I took Mikey for his check-up Monday. He weighs 16 lbs 4 oz and is 24 1/2 inches. My sister and I went to the store afterwards and I was looking at baby clothes since he's outgrown the 3 months outfits. I checked one of the tags for 6 months...he's past the measurements so my ox of a son is in 9 months clothes.
I called Michael yesterday to inform him of the check-up (even though he knew about it and could have checked in on it himself). He went into this tirade of how everyone is interfering with him seeing his son. I asked who it was he was referring to. He asked what my parents have told me...I assumed they talked to him on the phone one day about it while I wasn't home or something. He told me they didn't tell him anything and I asked again who was. He replied that no one was...so where is he getting this information that everyone is interfering??? Then he told me that he wants to see Mikey and I told him he'd have to come here and see him while he's where he's at...he's two blocks away from a drug area and I'm not having that...and I'm also not comfortable with Michael having him solo because Mikey is at this stage where he's being very difficult and can make you very aggravated. Michael doesn't deal with aggravation well.
So end result, he told me he would see me in court and hung up...even though I wasn't done talking to him. But that's really nothing new. I can't even count how many times he's done that!
*SMILE*

Is it Fall yet???

I freakin' hate the summer. I'm really looking forward to the Fall. It's too hot to write anything...Elijah goes with his dad Monday to Indiana and I'll be house/dog sitting--while he's away, that worked out pretty nicely. :) I'm dying here...earlier I had to use the inhaler and my whole body was shaking. Then later in the day I had a migraine. I'm SO ready for cool weather!

Cry...

If I make it through the day without crying it will be a miracle! I was so ready to just throw up my arms in defeat this morning. I don't want to punish Elijah by not letting him go to Bible School, but it's interfering so much with his sleep schedule...which interferes with his behavior. And I don't even think he realizes what's going on either.

This is the second time this week that he's told me he doesn't like me...wait, I think the third actually. Things probably wouldn't be too bad except I have my parents chiming in their two cents. My dad always gets on me about how I treat him, whether I'm being too hard on him or babying him too much. With my mom it's always Grammy to the rescue. She can do no wrong in his eyes and it's always her he runs to.
Today I was trying to care for Mikey because he woke up early and then it was time to get Elijah up. He told me he didn't want to stay in bed, but he wasn't getting out of bed either...how do I tackle that answer?! So I went to leave and he fussed, I came back to see what he wanted, he shrugged his shoulders, so I went to make Mikey's cereal.
THEN, as if all that wasn't enough I called Michael back. (He called last night while we were picking Elijah up from VBS. I told him I'd call him back because we had just gotten to the church. Things were crazy at home and I didn't get to call him.) He had the audacity to yell at me for not calling back because "it was important". Apparently, he was involved in an accident and is trying to make a quick buck I guess. He's obviously not that injured if he was released from the hospital the same night and is going about normal business today! (He doesn't have to pay anything by way of medical bills either because Medicaid pays for that!) He wants my mom's boss to represent him, like he has money for that. Go to legal aid, like you told me to do when I needed a lawyer!
It's so funny that now that we're not together, everything he said when we were together, now it's the complete opposite! We didn't have any money and I had to be the mooch to my friends and family (thank you to all who helped out) because he couldn't ask his family. They're all tightwads. Now he tells me that he's asking his family for all kinds of help and money. I guess he just didn't want to fess up to them that he was drinking how he was. I guess it was a real burden for him to take care of his family...instead of looking for a job, let's mooch off of others. Like it's everyone else's responsibility to care for us!
Sigh...like I really need his crap when I have so much more on my plate. Then he says to me that I took one of the movies I bought him. Actually I had bought it for both of us, that made it fair game. (It was the only "our" movie that I took.) Then I told him that it didn't matter who it was bought for anyway because when I bought him Shawshank Redemption he gave that away. Then he gets all hyper and tells me to stop bringing up the past. I told him that he needs to stop that because every time I bring something up it's not valid, but when he brings stuff up, it is valid. He didn't have anything to say about that.
I really have to get to the post office though and put in a change of address...mail is still going to the apartment and now that he's not there anymore...
And ya know, I felt bad about the whole accident thing...he calls me up and tells me how tragic this accident was and all I could think of was that he was over exaggerating, like he usually does. I mean, I do hope he's okay and all, but after all the drama and absolute crap he's put me through, I really don't care. I don't have the time or energy to be concerned with that. I have the 2 boys to take care of, myself to take care of, work, trying to register for classes in the fall, trying to get assistance for child care, trying to finalize paperwork for my case at Social Services...I mean, where am I supposed to fit Michael into my life?? Not to mention I don't really have any time set aside to do devotions or anything like that!
Like I said, if I make it through the day without crying it will be a miracle!
*SMILE*

Weird Dreams...

So I keep having these weird dreams about my friends...some of them I remember, and some I don't...some of them creep me out.
And I have no idea where it's coming from either--probably a guilty conscience for not staying in touch with them like I should be. I don't know what it is about me, but I've always been terrible at keeping in touch with people. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE staying in the loop, but sometimes I just fall behind. I'm such a bad friend. :)
On a more serious note, I found out this weekend that one of my cousins is going to rehab in Florida--well, he's already there, but still. Please keep him in your prayers. He has 3 kids--2 that live with him and his wife. Apparently, this has been going on for a while now. (They live in Delaware and we don't really get out there as often as we should.) He went in on Monday, miraculously, and he wants to be there which is even better! We're just hoping that he doesn't get lonely out there and decide he wants to come home. I'm not really that close to him, but still it saddens me. :(
I guess there's not really much else going on. I don't have a very exciting life! LOL Oh, I had a bunch of parking tickets that I didn't take care of. A few months ago, the letter I got said it was 80 some dollars to pay. I went to pay them yesterday...$300!!! Can you believe it! So a word to the wise--don't be stupid like me! Pay your tickets when you get them! Now I have to come up with the money to get my license restored. I'm trying to get it done this week--haha--so that I can hopefully use my friends' car while they're on vacation for 2 weeks. They asked me to dog-sit and told me I could use their car as well. WOOHOO! I was almost allowed to stay at the house while I dog-sit, but their brother is coming in from out of town and is staying there. Family stinks! J/K!
I'm going to try and upload some photos soon...it's been too long since the last ones, and I have some really funny ones of Mikey!
I tried green beans yesterday...we've gotten through all the other Gerber veggies, this was the last one. He really liked the other ones! Anyway, I fed him the green beans and he made this awful face! I got video too, but I haven't mastered video on Blogger yet. It takes too long for videos to load anyway.
Elijah, for whatever reason, had two accidents on Monday...once at school and once at VBS. I was so aggravated by the end of the day! I almost sent him to my friends' house Tuesday in a pull-up. He came home and they told me he used the potty and pooped! (Again in the potty!) Now if only he would poop in the potty at school! I'm hoping that the comfort of using the potty at friends' houses will ease the pain of using the potty at school--whatever that's supposed to mean.
This is another week of VBS (different church though) ending at 8:30. That means late bedtime, which means cranky Elijah. Then next week he'll be on vacation with his dad in Indiana for 2 weeks. I didn't realize it was two weeks and now I'm paying for TWO weeks of school without him being there instead of just one. I don't like to pay for one let alone two. I emailed his dad asking to help out with tuition...we'll see if he replies or if he'll ignore it. He has a tendency to only answer correspondence that he wants to answer. Give me a break!

**On a side note**

Just about every day, the people across the street from the office get a package delivered from FedEx...what do you get?! It drives me crazy!!!