AGGRAVATION!!!

So the other week, my mom told Elijah that church wasn't a choice while I was in the bathroom getting ready--apparently there was some complication getting ready and he said he wasn't going. I told him if he didn't behave and couldn't get ready on time, he would have to stay home with Granddad and Uncle Jason. He protested and my mom and I got into an argument about letting church be a choice.
Now the tables have turned. He's asking to go to church even when it's not time and wants his dad to bring him home early on his weekends so he can attend church. I talked to my mom about this and she said that that's his right. I swear sometimes I think my mom is bipolar--mental illness runs in my family.
Anyway, I don't understand her at all! On one hand she says one thing...on the other she totally contradicts herself! What's the deal?!?!
I've been asking her for a couple of weeks to talk to her boss--she's a secretary for a family court lawyer--and now this week he's on vacation. Well I think I'm going in the phone book tomorrow and finding a family court lawyer or legal aid or something and get their opinion on the matter! In today's world of religious tolerance, there's got to be SOMETHING allowing me to choose to have my son attend service with me.
Before we split, both of us sat down and talked about things--the way we would raise him, what he would be allowed to watch on tv, etc. Now everything has changed now that he doesn't believe in God anymore. He's playing swords with him--we agreed no weapons as toys, he doesn't want him to attend church--he was very into church before he even moved out here, and that's just the beginning. I mean, whatever! I don't tell you not to teach him Japanese do I? (Who teaches their kid Japanese--especially when they're as American as they come! He has no ancestry in Japan...)
And technically he doesn't get him on the weekends anyway, so I could tell him that I want to switch back to that schedule. The only problem there is that now I have Elijah doing the preschool program at daycare and he would miss out on that. I figure if we go to modify from the weekday schedule back to the weekend schedule, it may be able to be modified to include Elijah at home for Sunday worship.
Have I mentioned yet that I really can't stand MEN!!! I don't understand the male race--and yes, I did say race. I don't believe they're human at all!

Mental Health Night

After the way things have been going lately, I needed to take a mental health day...and since it's crucial for me to be at work this week, I decided to skip class. We are allowed 2 "free pass" misses, so now I have one left. And I feel so much better!
And believe me, after the past couple of days I have had, I don't know if I would have lasted much longer. My dad and brother have really been working my nerves. Plus, dealing with two kids as a single mom isn't the easiest of jobs. On top of that I have Michael bothering me. Now add to that equation, his daughter! She called me late last night asking why I haven't called her back. First of all, I have no ties to you and we didn't get that close when Michael and I were together.
So I didn't get much sleep Sunday because Eli was up until 12/12:30. He started at bedtime complaining that his ear hurt, and it looked fine to me--wasn't pink or anything--and I chalked it up to attention-seeking. The next morning, it was a little better he said, but I figured since I brought it up, he remembered.
I ended up having to take him to the doctor's because now he has a lot of gunky stuff in his ear. She wasn't sure if it was just draining something or an ear infection. So now, my medicine hater, has to take amoxocillin, ear drops (they're just lovely) and Tylenol for pain. And we haven't gotten to bath time yet, but he has to wear ear plugs to keep the water from getting in.
So today I slept in a little and that was a bad move! Because I had to get the kids ready in a rush...and give Eli his medicine, I didn't get breakfast and my coffee--which I needed desperately--sat on the table as we left. :( There is a woman at work that has been a bug up my--fill in the blank--lately and I just knew she was going to call. She did...and stopped by. WHY ME, LORD??? Oh, did I just say that out loud? (Use your imagination, people!)
After she stopped by, guess who else stopped by. Why should the fun stop there? MICHAEL WHY??? Lord, really, why do You torture me so? He stopped by to see what was going on between me and Kisha (his daughter). Who cares?! It's no concern of yours...I have no time to schedule playdates when I have 2 jobs, 2 kids, 2 classes, 2 exes to deal with--do we see a theme here? Creepy, huh? :)
So I've come to the decision to drop something. Kids aren't an option, the classes aren't either--financial aid is paying and I can't afford to pay it back, and the exes come with the kids...so the job I do a few hours a week is being dropped. I've been thinking that for a while, and before I talk to them I'm going to wait until the week is out and pray about it.
Like I said, I took some time out for me today and things went so much better for me. I can actually breathe easy.
Well, I have some CDs to make for a friend. Take care everyone! (Like anyone really reads this thing! Thanks Vickie!!!)
*SMILE*

Pure Exhaustion

I didn't know one could be exhausted in so many ways until tonight. I went out to dinner with my mom, our neighbor across the street and the boys. Now, work today wasn't that bad. I got everything done at both jobs with time to spare--at both! :) That's a first...anyway, I come home and the men--and I use the term loosely--in my house were complete boneheads. (That's putting it nicely.)
Okay, so the diner...Elijah would not sit still for anything! I never took so many deep breaths at one dinner. Elijah is really going through this phase where he has to try every possible way to test the limits...it's not one of the funner stages. (I'm so exhausted I can't sleep...if that's even possible.)
I didn't know whether to laugh or cry at the things he was doing. My mom and Joan told me that he was fine and to stop nit-picking, but I don't know...it seemed a little nerve-wracking to me. At one point he dropped a bread dish and the whole section of the diner looked over. I didn't know what else to do so I chuckled as I waved and said hello. I would love to just go to sleep and not wake up until 7 o'clock Monday morning.
And Michael has been calling this week! I knew he would be though because it's been about two weeks. He called 3 times one night and 2 times one afternoon--right after each other. I mean if he called once a day or every couple days, it probably wouldn't be as bad. But gimme a break! 3 times in less than five minutes is borderline harassment! If you leave a message saying to call back, when I get a minute I think I will. I told him that when I called him back. He didn't say anything about money or coming to see Mikey this time. He asked about the kids and then went on about him and his life--like that's a concern of mine right now.
Here's what I found out...so he says anyway:
Social Security stopped issuing him checks because he worked at one point and didn't report that to them. He called them when he didn't get his check on the first and they explained that they sent a letter explaining this...he never opened it! They are re-opening his case though and he should get paid next month--not that he told me he would give me money for the baby or anything though. He has food left over from last month--which if he didn't buy so much could have given me money for diapers, clothes, daycare, food...fill-in-the-blank. He goes on to tell me that things are hard for him. Wait...did I just hear correctly??? You have a place of your own, you have money to spend on yourself when you want, you don't have to raise kids on your own, you're not working 2 jobs--let alone at all, you're not taking classes, you have time to yourself, you don't get woken up in the middle of the night and have to get up and tend to a baby, need I go on???
I'm so spent when it comes to him. My aunt called the house phone while I was talking to him and he thought it was my cell phone. I told him it was the house phone and he figured I was on my cell and told me he still didn't have that number. To which I replied, "Good." He asked why and I told him because I didn't need him calling THAT phone off the hook like the house phone! He said he wouldn't--that was when I was telling him about his call habits to the house.
I'm just really ready for a vacation. I so can't wait until Mikey starts to sleep through the night. My sanity can't wait! LOL
Well, I should probably try and get some sleep now. Hopefully I'll have the time and energy to make CDs tomorrow. I have a friend that asked me to make him some Christian mix CDs. I love doing that kind of stuff--where would I be without music?--and haven't gotten a chance to do so yet. I should really get on that! LOL (He was amazed at my collection and how you could copy music and all--I have everything from rap-rock-pop-worship-punk-you name it, I probably have it...except country...sorry!) :)

Amazing Freedom

So I don't even know how long it's been since the last blog...but I know it's been a while! The room is now completely done! (Well, it does need cable, but I'm surviving...I've never been one for much tv anyway.), but only had one

These aren't the final pictures, it has carpet and minimal furniture. Speaking of carpet...
My dad and I were bringing up the carpet for the room. We had a fan leaning against the chimney to air out the primer--it was bad! My dad was in front and knocked it over. I went to pick it up, but only had one hand...I used my knee to push the bottom out. Here's the fan...

The fan was still on when I did this...there's no back to the fan...here's the bruise--

Anyway, I've also started taking classes. Tuesdays I go to History and Thursday is Math. Things are a little rough, but they're also just starting. It's also been a while since I've last taken classes, so...
This past weekend was the Women of Faith conference in Philadelphia. It was sooooo awesome! I had gone 2 years ago and opted out last year. I'm so glad I didn't! I laughed, I cried...I learned so much! Hopefully it's a new start. I've been trying to be more patient with Mikey--Elijah has been at his dad's this weekend. So far it's not too bad. I've also been taking care of my mom. She came with us to the conference--she's actually the leader--and got sick.
I'm going to try and keep up with this more frequently than I have been lately. Oh! How could I forget. As I was about to feed Mikey tonight, I was holding him and he put my finger in his mouth...I thought that I was just imagining things again--like I have been this past two months--but I wasn't. HE CUT HIS FIRST TOOTH!!! I'm hoping that once it comes through all the way, he'll sleep a little better. That would help out a lot, because I've been having some trouble managing things...between kids, work and school! Something has to give and I'm afraid I can't sacrifice any more sleep than I already am. LOL
Okay, so I think I'm going to go now...take care!
*SMILE*

School's In

So today was my first day back at school. The last time I stepped foot in a classroom was in 1999! Boy were my nerves eating at me. I came home from work and I just laid in bed. I was all shaky, I felt nauseous and I was extremely anxious! I almost thought it was my depression returning. I was watching tv, folded some laundry and everything was just intensifying. Then I developed a migraine. I was not looking forward to going to class. If it weren't for having to repay financial aid, I would have dropped the class.
Now I'm home and feel much better! It was History, 2 1/2 hours. I hate History! I had to take the same History class three times to finally get a "C". And that was because the professor gave me a break!
I have a quiz at the beginning of each class, three essay tests--and the baby is now up so this will have to continue another time.
*SMILE*