Looking Back...

Okay, so I know the last one was a long one...so I'll try to keep this one short, not to mention I'm exhausted!
I found myself really bored and looking at old pages. I mostly just check email, keep up with online banking or go to "social network" sites (ie, MySpace and Facebook). I also like to keep up with my friends through their blogs and find myself, ironically, frustrated by the lack of upkeep. I know, people get busy...myself being my own example of this.
Anyway, I've been reminiscing a lot lately. Old friends I lost touch with, old friends I still talk to, exes I haven't heard from in years, and exes that have recently re-surfaced. Anyway, as the title states, looking back I wonder what life would be like if things turned out differently.
There was one potential that I didn't give a chance, and lately he's been on my mind--and I have no idea why! I, on Facebook, sent a message to a past hopeful...anonymously...and he found out! The thing is, I've always considered him the one that got away. Our paths crossed many times throughout the past 10 years after we first met. (Some of you may know to whom I'm referring.) Anyway, I feel awkward even messaging or emailing him anymore. He's in town for the next couple weeks and I'm contemplating doing such. *Wish me luck!*
And some of my exes I wonder...WHAT in the world was I thinking?! I know everything happens for a reason, but why is it that sometimes we don't know that reason? I mean, if it's happening for a reason, shouldn't we be privy to this reason? Maybe it's just me over-analyzing again...who knows! And maybe I don't know now, but it will become clear later down the line.
Well anyway...thanks for listening. Sorry, I know you could have spent the past 5-ish minutes of your life doing something more constructive, and I can never give you this lost time back...but please keep reading! I enjoy hearing comments or knowing that you are following along.
Much love....
Oh yeah...Happy 4th of July!!!