Is it Fall yet???

I freakin' hate the summer. I'm really looking forward to the Fall. It's too hot to write anything...Elijah goes with his dad Monday to Indiana and I'll be house/dog sitting--while he's away, that worked out pretty nicely. :) I'm dying here...earlier I had to use the inhaler and my whole body was shaking. Then later in the day I had a migraine. I'm SO ready for cool weather!

Cry...

If I make it through the day without crying it will be a miracle! I was so ready to just throw up my arms in defeat this morning. I don't want to punish Elijah by not letting him go to Bible School, but it's interfering so much with his sleep schedule...which interferes with his behavior. And I don't even think he realizes what's going on either.

This is the second time this week that he's told me he doesn't like me...wait, I think the third actually. Things probably wouldn't be too bad except I have my parents chiming in their two cents. My dad always gets on me about how I treat him, whether I'm being too hard on him or babying him too much. With my mom it's always Grammy to the rescue. She can do no wrong in his eyes and it's always her he runs to.
Today I was trying to care for Mikey because he woke up early and then it was time to get Elijah up. He told me he didn't want to stay in bed, but he wasn't getting out of bed either...how do I tackle that answer?! So I went to leave and he fussed, I came back to see what he wanted, he shrugged his shoulders, so I went to make Mikey's cereal.
THEN, as if all that wasn't enough I called Michael back. (He called last night while we were picking Elijah up from VBS. I told him I'd call him back because we had just gotten to the church. Things were crazy at home and I didn't get to call him.) He had the audacity to yell at me for not calling back because "it was important". Apparently, he was involved in an accident and is trying to make a quick buck I guess. He's obviously not that injured if he was released from the hospital the same night and is going about normal business today! (He doesn't have to pay anything by way of medical bills either because Medicaid pays for that!) He wants my mom's boss to represent him, like he has money for that. Go to legal aid, like you told me to do when I needed a lawyer!
It's so funny that now that we're not together, everything he said when we were together, now it's the complete opposite! We didn't have any money and I had to be the mooch to my friends and family (thank you to all who helped out) because he couldn't ask his family. They're all tightwads. Now he tells me that he's asking his family for all kinds of help and money. I guess he just didn't want to fess up to them that he was drinking how he was. I guess it was a real burden for him to take care of his family...instead of looking for a job, let's mooch off of others. Like it's everyone else's responsibility to care for us!
Sigh...like I really need his crap when I have so much more on my plate. Then he says to me that I took one of the movies I bought him. Actually I had bought it for both of us, that made it fair game. (It was the only "our" movie that I took.) Then I told him that it didn't matter who it was bought for anyway because when I bought him Shawshank Redemption he gave that away. Then he gets all hyper and tells me to stop bringing up the past. I told him that he needs to stop that because every time I bring something up it's not valid, but when he brings stuff up, it is valid. He didn't have anything to say about that.
I really have to get to the post office though and put in a change of address...mail is still going to the apartment and now that he's not there anymore...
And ya know, I felt bad about the whole accident thing...he calls me up and tells me how tragic this accident was and all I could think of was that he was over exaggerating, like he usually does. I mean, I do hope he's okay and all, but after all the drama and absolute crap he's put me through, I really don't care. I don't have the time or energy to be concerned with that. I have the 2 boys to take care of, myself to take care of, work, trying to register for classes in the fall, trying to get assistance for child care, trying to finalize paperwork for my case at Social Services...I mean, where am I supposed to fit Michael into my life?? Not to mention I don't really have any time set aside to do devotions or anything like that!
Like I said, if I make it through the day without crying it will be a miracle!
*SMILE*

Weird Dreams...

So I keep having these weird dreams about my friends...some of them I remember, and some I don't...some of them creep me out.
And I have no idea where it's coming from either--probably a guilty conscience for not staying in touch with them like I should be. I don't know what it is about me, but I've always been terrible at keeping in touch with people. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE staying in the loop, but sometimes I just fall behind. I'm such a bad friend. :)
On a more serious note, I found out this weekend that one of my cousins is going to rehab in Florida--well, he's already there, but still. Please keep him in your prayers. He has 3 kids--2 that live with him and his wife. Apparently, this has been going on for a while now. (They live in Delaware and we don't really get out there as often as we should.) He went in on Monday, miraculously, and he wants to be there which is even better! We're just hoping that he doesn't get lonely out there and decide he wants to come home. I'm not really that close to him, but still it saddens me. :(
I guess there's not really much else going on. I don't have a very exciting life! LOL Oh, I had a bunch of parking tickets that I didn't take care of. A few months ago, the letter I got said it was 80 some dollars to pay. I went to pay them yesterday...$300!!! Can you believe it! So a word to the wise--don't be stupid like me! Pay your tickets when you get them! Now I have to come up with the money to get my license restored. I'm trying to get it done this week--haha--so that I can hopefully use my friends' car while they're on vacation for 2 weeks. They asked me to dog-sit and told me I could use their car as well. WOOHOO! I was almost allowed to stay at the house while I dog-sit, but their brother is coming in from out of town and is staying there. Family stinks! J/K!
I'm going to try and upload some photos soon...it's been too long since the last ones, and I have some really funny ones of Mikey!
I tried green beans yesterday...we've gotten through all the other Gerber veggies, this was the last one. He really liked the other ones! Anyway, I fed him the green beans and he made this awful face! I got video too, but I haven't mastered video on Blogger yet. It takes too long for videos to load anyway.
Elijah, for whatever reason, had two accidents on Monday...once at school and once at VBS. I was so aggravated by the end of the day! I almost sent him to my friends' house Tuesday in a pull-up. He came home and they told me he used the potty and pooped! (Again in the potty!) Now if only he would poop in the potty at school! I'm hoping that the comfort of using the potty at friends' houses will ease the pain of using the potty at school--whatever that's supposed to mean.
This is another week of VBS (different church though) ending at 8:30. That means late bedtime, which means cranky Elijah. Then next week he'll be on vacation with his dad in Indiana for 2 weeks. I didn't realize it was two weeks and now I'm paying for TWO weeks of school without him being there instead of just one. I don't like to pay for one let alone two. I emailed his dad asking to help out with tuition...we'll see if he replies or if he'll ignore it. He has a tendency to only answer correspondence that he wants to answer. Give me a break!

**On a side note**

Just about every day, the people across the street from the office get a package delivered from FedEx...what do you get?! It drives me crazy!!!

Recovering from the weekend

So this weekend Elijah finished Vacation Bible School (VBS), he went to his dad's and we had our yard sale. Mikey slept all day Saturday. He woke up at 5, stayed up for 2 hours, went to sleep, stayed up for about an hour and a half, went back to sleep, stayed up for another 2 hours, went to sleep and woke up for about 2 hours (in the middle of the night) again. I think he's teething though. He keeps biting on my fingers, his fist is always in his mouth, he eats his blankets, bibs, toys, you name it-it's in his mouth! So it was nice for him to sleep and not be in the heat for the yard sale.

My sister is inching her way more and more on my list...and it's not a good list to be on either. She's so freakin' spoiled! It drives me crazy! She didn't wake up until about 10. The yard sale was supposed to be 8-2. She wanted to close shop at 12. She couldn't sit out by herself and man everything...someone had to be with her or she went inside. Then when everything was done, they asked if I could come help clean up. (My dad and I had set everything up.) I didn't want to, but I figured it wouldn't be such a big deal with us all working together. No, once I got out there, they left! I could understand my mom leaving, she got sick from the heat. But my sister, she went inside and sat her butt right in front of the computer. I swear, I think she would die if the computer broke--she's on it constantly! Then my dad asked her to get her stuff and she comes out, gets one thing and goes back inside. ...Gee, thanks for the help! And she's the one with the most time on her hands and she does the least! She's home during the day while everyone else is at work...she sits around, watches kiddie shows, plays on the computer, and sleeps. Hey, how about cleaning up a little.

I have two kids to tend to, and I go to work, pick them up from school, clean up around the house and take care of the boys. I mean, I may not go crazy and clean the whole house, but I'm doing my part. She leaves her stuff all over the place...clothes are here, there, everywhere. She leaves her food trash on the table. Dishes are everywhere...it's disgusting! And she complains about having no room and wanting to move to her friend's house. Let's see how long that will last!

Anyway, I managed to spend way more time on that subject than I thought.

Michael had asked to have the baby after we were done church. I took him over, handed him to Michael and he says "he's gonna start to fuss". Sure enough he did and he asks me "what do I do?". Like he never dealt with him cranky before. Then he called later and asked when I was getting him. I told him I didn't know and that was that. When we did go get him, he had just fallen asleep. So we went to another Church that was having a kick-off for their VBS this week. He had so much fun! They had all kinds of games there. He didn't want to leave.

At bedtime Elijah didn't want to wear his pull-up. He doesn't wear one during the day, but ya never know with night-time. :) My mom and I dealt with his shenanigans for about 30 minutes. Then I told him as long as he tried to go potty then, he could sleep in just underwear. He woke up dry! :)

Mikey, who has stopped sleeping through the night, went down at 9:30. I woke up around 3:30 and he was still sleeping--I could go back to sleep! :D 6:30 I woke up and he was still sleeping. I thought 'This is too good to be true' and checked on him. I pulled the blanket away, no movement. Rubbed his face, no movement. Bumped the crib, no movement. At this point I'm getting a little nervous. I rubbed his back--movement! (Sigh of relief) He was still asleep though and didn't get up until about 7:30. I'll take that! Hopefully these teeth come in or the growth spurt passes or whatever is going on ends so that he can get back to sleeping at night again.

*SMILE*

Odd Celebration

***WARNING***
The following blog you are about to read may contain objectionable material.

Introduction: Elijah and Mikey are at a friend's house today--she offered free babysitting during the summer. And since I need someone to watch the boys Tuesdays and Thursdays, she took one of the days.

Story: I'm at the office working on the Newsletter for September...can you say bored?? :) The phone rings and I think to myself, what now?? "I have good news for you...guess what Elijah just did in the potty?" (Here's where you may get offended--if you don't have contact with kids.)

He POOPED...IN THE POTTY! Usually he'll poop in the potty at home, but when he's anywhere else, he refuses and then I have a mess to clean up once we get home...or a hurting belly. He won't even really poop at his dad's either, which is a little odd. I don't know how she did it, but I'm hoping this continues and that he'll take that concept to school too--it's okay to poop in other people's potties. :)
Well, I'm sorry if you're totally disgusted right now, but as a mom, this was monumental!
That's all for now...*SMILE*

Feel the heat!

Oh...my...goodness! It's so stinkin' hot! I think that's the one thing I miss about living with Michael...where we lived we had central air from the house, so we didn't even have to pay for it. My parents won't get central air or have an a/c in...mostly because of cost, but man!
We had my sister's birthday celebration yesterday...that was a barbecue outside so you can imagine that too. My nieces we over and Elijah was so excited to have his cousins over...that is until he got whacked in the head with his hockey stick. He has a hockey set--plastic--and my niece, who is 6, went to hit the Frisbee that my brother threw...only Elijah's head got in the way. We learned yesterday that she has quite an arm on her! :)
Also, Michael called me. He was drunk and wanting me to get him a pack of cigarettes because he was out of money. But I was supposed to be proud of him--like he's my child or something--that the beer lasted him for 2 weeks. (I doubt it was really 2 weeks, but whatever.) Then I told him that's the reason why I don't really want to help him with his bills. Why am I going to help him pay his bills when he's wasting his money on beer and such? Pay your bills, take care of your kid, and leave me alone! Oh, and he told me that he misses me. And what does he miss--my nastiness, trifling-ness or my laziness? Can't forget my bitchiness. He tells me all that stuff and more--my favorite was that he hates me--complains all the time, and I'm supposed to believe you miss me??? Well that's nice but I really don't miss you. The only thing I miss about him is the help that he did give me with Mikey.
I have never showered as little as I have been since I've moved with my parents...and with this heat, that's just really, really...REALLY gross! I don't even get breakfast in the morning either because we're so rushed. Like, this morning, as we're getting ready for church, Elijah starts acting up, Mikey was screaming in his chair, and I was still not ready. My mom helped with Elijah, I finished getting ready, loaded up Mikey's food and just surrendered to feeding Mikey in Sunday school. When we got there, I went to fix his cereal only to realize that his bottle was left on the table at home. My mom went back to get it while I tried to keep Mikey soothed until she returned. Elijah, on the other hand, refused to go to his class and insisted on disrupting ours. I was so furious!
It got better though--when we came home Elijah ate lunch and went in for nap with no trouble. Though he did kinda put up a fight to go down.
My mom, my sister and I had to go to the store and by the time we got back, he was sound asleep. When he got up, Mikey went down...and my mom said she'd watch Elijah while I took a nap. YAY! It wasn't very long--an hour-- but it was! I don't know what's been going on with Mikey lately, but he's started waking up in the middle of the night again. And when he goes to bed before Elijah, I have to stay up and get even less sleep. So needless to say, it's been very crazy here lately.
Gee, and I didn't think I had a lot to write either...well, that's all for now.
*SMILE*

Still in disarray

So it's been a little under a month now...my life is still in disarray. :( Things aren't going as planned, but I'm actually okay with that. And I'm surprised too, because I can be a very high-strung person. I can really see how I've grown lately...I don't know when it happened, I don't know how it happened--but it happened. :)
Anyway, Elijah has been "using" my sister's mini-dresser. I put that in quotes, because he has some clothes in it, but can't get to them because of the boxes in front. The desk that was supposed to be stored in the attic is still there...the bureau is also still in the room that's supposed to be in my parents' bedroom. Which also means my dresser is still sitting on the porch. So yeah, every morning my neighbors get to see me rooting through my dresser for what to wear that day. I mean, granted it's not too revealing, but still! My sister is still griping about the situation, although she hasn't done anything about moving out--just keeps talking about it. Mikey has stopped sleeping through the night the past couple of days. :(
On a positive note, Michael is moving...he's a couple towns away, so hopefully--since neither of us drive and he's got a roommate--that will put an ease on the phone calls. He's gotten more pleasant. He actually called the other day and said that we need to stop arguing--even if just for the baby. I guess he listened to me when I explained to him why I thought we always ended up arguing. Progress??
I went to an Al-Anon meeting last week. It seemed to help me a little and I thought I would look forward to going again this week, but I'm really not. And I'm not sure that my mom would "watch" the kids this time since Mikey is starting to wake again. So I guess that's my excuse to the girl that I go with. :)
Jes called me the other day! I was so excited. I haven't talked to her in forever!! She really needs to go on leave soon! She's stationed in Europe--I think Germany. My mom says we talked for about an hour, but it really didn't seem like that long. (Jes is one of my closest friends...we were college roomies freshman year--'97-'98...and then she joined the Air Force and went far, far away.) :( LOL
I can't really explain it, but I've felt such a peace about things--except with regards to Michael, he still makes my blood boil--and it's so amazing! I've honestly never felt like this before. I mean, yes I still do get aggravated or upset about things, but not like how I used to. Well, my dad can really get me going too...like yesterday. Don't even get me started on that one though! :)
Well, I should really get back to work. :o
*SMILE*

Feelin' Copasetic

AHHH! So it's been, like, FOREVER since I last blogged. So much has happened. Long story short, got in a huge fight with Michael, my mom was involved--the cops were involved! I moved into my parents' house and we've been there ever since. My sister came home from college/her mission trip and things have been crazy--4 people in a single bedroom! YIKES!
Michael calls all the time! He's really driving me crazy. I haven't been answering the phone when he calls because he has to argue...I really think that's the only reason he calls sometimes. He keeps asking to spend time with the baby and then when it's time he makes this big issue like it's a burden. HELLO!!! You're the one that asked for him. He tells me that he doesn't want him every day--that he doesn't want him all day. Welcome to parenthood! You don't get to pick and choose when you spend time with your kid...like I have a choice!
My "assistant" had her last day today. She's not really my assistant. She's the Assistant Secretary. Anyway, today was her last day. It was SOOO crazy at the office today. There were like 5 extra people that stopped by. It took us about 30 minutes for her to train me on her part of the job. Things shouldn't be too bad.
On a happy note, Mikey (who is now about 4 months old) has started sleeping through the night! :) YAY! He's almost got some sort of a schedule too. He's doing really well with cereal and just started on veggies.
Elijah got a new sippy cup the other day (because we can't find his lids to the old ones) and he looked at my mom and said 'Grammy, I don't need a sippy cup, I'm a big boy!' It was so funny. Then today he tells me, 'Granddad needs to learn to say sorry.' after they bumped heads. He's getting so funny!
I can't get the pics to upload, so maybe next time. :( They're SO cute too!
Anyway, that's all for now.
*SMILE*